Update and more

My last post was dated May 26, 2011. More than two years ago. A lot has changed since then; my address, my name, my priorities,my life as a whole. It was like as if I was standing on a stage and the backdrop was being constantly moved for the next one to come. Well, that's life. I have thoroughly enjoyed and lived these changes to the fullest, sometimes by crying, sometimes laughing and at times by not reacting at all.
These two years have been an incredible journey for me as a woman. Amusingly, I thought I was on a track which would lead me to know who I am one day. But this new twist in my life totally blew me out on different levels. Yet, I am enjoying it. From a lazy, emotionally captivated girl to being another version of lazy and emotionally captivated girl. Sounds weird, right? But, I am hell lot different now.

The change of place was huge for me. Like a lot of others I used to dream of living in the land of the red and blues. The travel shows on TLC and Discovery channels were my favorite. I used to get mesmerized by the arches of the Rocky Mountains or the histogram of the Chicago landscape. I am very blessed indeed to be able to witness them closely. I have touched those ice on the peaks of the mountains, drove up to the highest peak and inhaled fresh mountain breeze. There was a moment , a very divine moment for me at one point when my hubby went to get lunch and I was sitting in this beautiful open restaurant in front of the Rocky Mountains Visitors Center. I was looking at it and remembered I saw this place in one of Samantha Brown's shows and I also recalled how much I wished if I ever could be in such a place. And there was I! I couldn't thank enough the Supreme. I long for those moments in life. A moment like that is worth of thousand sighs.

Life is indeed very beautiful.Thankful for every little and big things I am destined to.

Shall try to be more regular here.

Here's a link for you to know about the Rockies!
Rocky Mountains

too close to be distant

There is a subtle allurement about distance,

 it makes you look beyond the horizon,

 not that your destiny is visible 

or traceable,

 yet, you tend to look for it,

 in the blazing streaks and cold drizzles,

 through the infuriating thunder cracks,

or in the shivering cold swept of wind.

It is like living within a magnetic field,

being a piece of iron...

It is when two souls realize

how distant they are,

that is when they are most near.

Oh you distance!

Should I curse you or thank you??  

"Distance is to love like wind is to fire...it extinguishes the small and kindles the great!"

Saima NK
May 23, 2011

transition

I opened my eyes

in a flurry filled room,

a streak of light flashed in them,

compelling my eyes to close down…

Am I dead?

Is this the moment nobody waits for,

but lives as a mandatory ritual?

The 'dead' me could feel the brush of air

tantalizing her skin.

A sweet blossoming fragrance

lingering around,

poking my senses…

Am I in heaven?

Have I made here finally?

Being one of those sillies who never wanted to die,

but craved for an entrance to the happy land always?

Am I about to witness the ultimate exhibition of

God's supremacy?

who knew, I will..

Now I opened my eyes yet once again,

this time I am not going to be timid,

with sincerity I will face what fate has thought for me…

then I saw you,

I smiled and sighed.

My Heaven, me Earth

Now it's all you.

i HATE dynamics!

Not on this day
not maybe this week
nor even in this month,

maybe not in this lifetime,

this isn't the last streak of sunray radiating your window pane,
these drops of rain aren't
the last ones to be collected in a plastic bucket,
that puddle isn't the only left in which
someone spoils his pants,

The story doesn't end here.
A story never ends,
it just gets transformed,
a comedy turns into tragedy,
a monologue becomes a dialogue,
highways end up at dead ends,
some dead ends crushed to the way
to a broadway.

Life is strange, you never know
in which character you play,
an iron lady or the man of clay,
the left or the right path to drive
or keep encircling at a point and think
you are alive?

The centripetal always wins
over the centrifugal.
And we are bound to stay on the path,
the right track, as they call it.

A bunch of idiots as we are,
keep walking, walking and
walking...


Saima n.
An Idiot.

100 truths about myself.

1. last beverage: tea with milk and little sugar


2. last phone call: Jishan

3. last text message: Faheem

4. last song you listened to: Tees Maar Khan

7. been cheated on? nope

8. kissed someone & regretted it? nope
 
9. lost someone special? yes

10. been depressed? emo is my second name.

11. been drunk and threw up? nope

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: 

12. black 
13. deep red
14. brown

IN THE LAST 13 MONTHS,  HAVE YOU: 

15. Made new friends? yes.

16. Fallen out of love? yes

17. Laughed until you cried? nah.

18. Met someone who changed you? nah.

19.Found out who your true friends were? yes.

20. Found out someone was talking about you? yes.

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list? nah.

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? 90%


23. How many kids do you want to have? 2

24. Do you have any pets? a fish

25. Do you want to change your name? the nickname, yes.

27. What did you do for your last birthday? have had cut the cake with a 2 year old girl wearing a birthday cap. :)

28. what time did you wake up today? 9:30 AM

29. What were you doing at midnight last night? playing farm-ville.

30. Name something you CANNOT wait for? a job

31. Last time you saw your father? 10 years 3 months 8 days back, and i miss him like hell. :'(

32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? have my parents back.

33. What are you listening to right now? nothing.

34. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? nah.

35. What's getting on your nerves right now? somebody is not at all paying any attention to me.

36. Most visited webpage? Facebook.

37. What’s your real name? Saima Newaz 

38. Nicknames? kumkum, kuku, kukuma, sam, poet, mamu, gadhi.

39. Relationship Status? single 

40. Zodiac sign? Sagittarius 

41. Male or female? female 

42. Elementary? Bay View 

43. Middle School? Sunshine Grammar School

44. High school? Sunshine Grammar School 


45. Hair color? Black

46. Long or short? long
 
47. Height? 5'-3.5" 

48. Do you have a crush on someone? yes

49. What do you like about yourself? i never lose hope.

50. Piercings? 3

51. Tattoos? nope

52. Righty or lefty? Righty 

FIRSTS: 

53. First surgery? a lip cut which resulted into few stitches... 

54. First piercing? ears 

55. First best friends? Ayesha and Kaynaat

56. First sport you joined? played cricket once.

57. First pet? fish

58. First vacation? to Mongla at my khala's place when i was 2 and i don't remember a thing. :(

59. First concert? Indian Idol concert in Chitts 

60. First crush? a book character :)

RIGHT NOW: 

61. Eating? munching nimki :p

62. Drinking? no


63. I'm about to? go for a shower

64. Listening to? chaos in the kitchen

65. Waiting for? an after lunch reading book session :) 

YOUR FUTURE : 

66. Want kids? yeah

67. Get married? this question should come after the previous one. :p YES

68. Careers in mind? lots 

WHICH IS BETTER : 

69. Lips or eyes: both, for different purposes. ;)

70. Hugs or kisses: both

71. Shorter or taller? Taller 

72. Older or Younger: older 

73. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneously romantic or romantically spontaneous, any of the two. :p

74. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice arms 

75. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive 

76. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship 

77. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker 

HAVE YOU EVER : 

78. Kissed a stranger: not yet 

79. Drank hard liquor: nope 

80. Lost glasses/contacts: nope, but got them broken.

81. Sex on first date: suits some people, i am not one of them.

82. Broken someone's heart: maybe

83. Had your own heart broken: yes 

84. Been drunk: never 

85. Been arrested: no 

86. Turned someone down: yeah 

87. Cried when someone died: yes.

88. Liked someone more than a friend? yes 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 

89. Yourself → Yes 

90. Miracles → Yes 

91. Love at first sight → nah 

92. Heaven → Yes 

93. Santa Clause → No 

94. Karma → YES!! 

95. Kiss on the first date? emm...yes 

96. Angels → Yes 

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 

97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes 

98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? Nope 

99. Told someone you loved them when you didn't? yes, when i was in my middle school. 

100. Posting this as 100 truths? 100% 

admittance

It feels great to have one's own space to write on, it is like a big locker to store secrets, hehe. But, seriously I barely remember the last time I wrote something in full sentence except for some vague poetry, which are understood only by me and very few people.does a lot when you don't want people to get you.

Yes, I don't want people to get me. I don't want them to think I am stupid. But I know I am one emotional fool and probably have to live and die being one. My poetries tend to end in a sad tone which disturbs me, I want to make people smile reading them rather than getting worried about me.

Maybe writing a sad poem is fairly easy after all. Because I find it a hell lot tougher to write a happier one. I never miss to notice the spark in someone's tears but always fail to realize the brightness of someone's smile. That is the tragedy of being a poet. It is not always in your hands. A poet becomes a separate entity, a different persona from who one is, a lonelier one. When I start writing, most of the time I don't even realize what am I scribbling about. And this is not something I am proud of.

release

“Goodbye”, quietly he said.

Turned his back on me and slowly went toward the ivory Mazda

Waiting for him to start,

I was keeping my head down,

Desperately trying to hide the wet droplets around my eyes,

As the car “whooshed” away,

The saga ended just in 60 seconds,

Our nights, days, moments have just been pushed from the edge of the cliff

Into the infinite blankness,

They died.

I rubbed my tears off and walked towards a cliff.

It’s time. 

Saima n.

July 14, 2010